Desire o desire.

I'm in love with a rat.

What do you think about that?

I would love a man,

but I don't think I can.

Just me and my rat,

will forever be sat

right where we're at.

And that will be that.

My dad.

I don't want to post twice in one day but something has been bothering me lately!

In the past I was good friends with my dad.

Even now I want to be good friends with my dad,

but I just can't be.

He is going down a bad path.

I always had to be the adult.

I AM an adult now..

and it makes me want to abandon him.

Is that bad?

He isn't doing anything to make me want him.

Ever since he started dating his girlfriend, no one else matters.

His mother is basically dying in front of everyones eyes,

and he can't even come over to say "Hi".

He can come over to take the car.

He can't say "Hi." to me either.

But he can ask me for the car.

He's a jerk.

My mom is starting to text every day now.

I guess that's nice.

She always says, "Goodnight."

This shit makes me feel lonely.

Your parents are supposed to love you and take care of you.

My parents are just people.

My grandparents are Gods, and I want them to live forever.

But they wont because they can't.

And after they're gone I want to be gone too.

If we could die at the same time I would be happy.

I don't want to depend on myself anymore.

And even though they are just letting me live with them,

I feel very taken care of.

Maybe the word is 'safe'.

I guess everyone has to depend on themselves though.

Anyway I really want my dad to stop being a prick.

Maybe what I want to say is, "I really want a dad."

But maybe that's what grandpa is for.

Fall asleep and I'm peaceful.

Betrayal is a funny thing.

It doesn't make sense sometimes.

Sometimes everything is just too personal.

Thank you, for saying I am your best friend in spite of your old friend.

Thank you, for hanging out with people who talk shit about me and treat you like trash.

Thank you for being so very very wonderful.

But really.. what right do I have in being mad?

Of all the games, its all the same that kills me again.

And all the time I hate to say the blames on you.

Of all the words and kindness spent reminds me again

of all the times I failed to see this side of you.

I died today. I broke the rules and changed my name.

I hate to say, "It's over." Over and over.