Woo! It's been quite awhile since I've written any blogs. I had better make this one amazing. Ready? GO!
I turned 19 recently! I realized when I turned 19 that I really didn't accomplish any thing when I was 18. I learned a lot of things about the person I want to be and the people I want to spend my time with, but I didn't do any thing wonderful. One of the most important things I learned was... I don't think I should stress relationships! Many people make getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend their biggest priority in life and I think it's a little bit stupid. I spent a lot of time with my Aunt. She has two kids and is divorced. To me it seemed like she spent more time looking for a boyfriend so she could complete the 'family' illusion that she neglected to take care of (and perfect!) the family she already had which is : her children! My mother did the same thing to my brother and I when we were young. She was so concerned that we wouldn't have a positive male role model in our lives that we lost our female role model as well. I used to be very sour about that, but I think it made me who I am so I can't be mad any more.
Another reason I think my mom and my aunt were so obsessed with the 'family' picture is that it's kind of ...stressed by society. Not new society, old society. My cousin had a mixed race baby last week and my Grandma was telling me about how she thinks it wrong. She's under the impression that a mixed child fits in neither world. Black people world or White people world. Hahahah. I told her that I think that's what life has become now a days, and the children aren't really outcasted but..I'm not a mixed race person so I don't really know. Also, a child should be loved by their family no matter what race they are or aren't so they would fit in that world! Family World. ;D Any way I think her kind of thinking is 'old society'. New society thinking might be some thing like my other grandma Mimi~ When I told her about my cousin she was excited because..it was a baby! She wasn't mad or concerned the baby wouldn't fit in any 'world'. Just happy. My cousin isn't related to Mimi and, she wanted to help all she could hahah. I love my grandmaaa.. Both of them hehe. It's a nice contrast between the two. My cousins pregnancy in general was very controversal. She's very young so mostly people were concerned about that, then they were concerned about the race and made nasty jokes, many people were mad. That baby isn't doing very well now and is expected to die. Now no one is nasty or mad at her for existing. It's not her fault she was born afterall. It's kind of funny how some thing like 'death' has to make people open their eyes and be more accepting. Actually it's not funny at all, it's very sad.
~
I made a friend on the internet perhaps..four years ago! We didn't chat much at first but through the years we learned alot of things about each other. I learned about her family situation and we kept in contact when she had to move all across the U.S so we became kind of close. She likes how I think since I'm kind of a 'can doster' and help her figure out things.. But! She moved to New York last summer so we got to hang out a few times. On my birthday she and her very lovely father came to my house to spend it with me and my family since I wanted them to meet my Mimi~ It was very fun. I never have been so excited about my birthday hahaha. We all had fun and my friend (whose name is Scone) loved Mimi. SO I felt really happy the whole day. Then after we ate and hung out with every one I went to their house. They live in a place that is about 3 hours away from me. At first the trip went okay but I noticed that Scone was acting very different. Usually she's very sweet but she had some sort of attitude problem th first couple of days and I wanted to leave. I felt like I wasted my time with her since she was being such a brat. Then I realized some thing! She was really really upset about her father having to go to Afghanistan. So I stretched my patience with her a bit. I thought, "This is hard for her. I should be nice. :)" but I HATE being nice when the other person is just OBLIVIOUS to it. It's infuriating! So finally I told her that I didn't like her being so rude to me. She didn't realize that she had been and apologized but I was still mad hahah. When she found out the definate date her dad was leaving she got a new mood and started being nice again. I'm glad that she's being nice again, because now I can help her with her grief better.~
When Scone talks about what is bothering her I try to suggest things she can do to help or I just say what's on my mind about it. She says "But.." as a response too much. I think people these days are so afraid of trying some thing and failing that they never take even the first step towards that thing. Personally, I would rather try and fail than never have had tried in the first place. But! In a way, I have always been a bit brave with these kind of things. I am learning alot from trying to help her. Things that are helping me too. I told her that when she looks at a situation she should write it all down so she can really LOOK at it. For example, she wants to become a free lancer and draw comics but she's afraid her family wont support her and she's afraid she will fail. I don't understand her loyalty to her family since she doesn't like them but I digress on this. . So! She told me she was afraid she would fail at becoming a freelancer and she wasn't really going to try but she really wanted to do it. ~_~ So I told her to pretend it wasn't her going to school and she was watching some one else do it. Because no matter what any one says humans are all very judgemental entities. We have a much easier time controlling other peoples lives than our own. (Oh come to think of it, we went to an art exibit! There were very average looking people there looking around and some woman was asking every one their opinions about what they were looking at. I laughed, because..at art exibits every one suddenly becomes a professional. It's the same with running other peoples lives, you always think you're correct in what you tell them!)
NYAH~
I'm going home on March 1st because my friend has to move to Texas, and her dad has to go over seas. I finally have some thing to look forward to in the future so I'm going to push myself to do my best! Some times when I try to do the best..I just get lazy. But since I have a goal in mind I feel more motivated to do well. For once in life, I feel that what I want to do is really what I should do in life. Many times I have a hard time imagining what my future will be like but now I'm getting glimpses of it.~!
My friend keeps listening to JJ Lin, and I am a fan of this song.~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWlDoGd_Drk It's really cute. ;_;~
I turned 19 recently! I realized when I turned 19 that I really didn't accomplish any thing when I was 18. I learned a lot of things about the person I want to be and the people I want to spend my time with, but I didn't do any thing wonderful. One of the most important things I learned was... I don't think I should stress relationships! Many people make getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend their biggest priority in life and I think it's a little bit stupid. I spent a lot of time with my Aunt. She has two kids and is divorced. To me it seemed like she spent more time looking for a boyfriend so she could complete the 'family' illusion that she neglected to take care of (and perfect!) the family she already had which is : her children! My mother did the same thing to my brother and I when we were young. She was so concerned that we wouldn't have a positive male role model in our lives that we lost our female role model as well. I used to be very sour about that, but I think it made me who I am so I can't be mad any more.
Another reason I think my mom and my aunt were so obsessed with the 'family' picture is that it's kind of ...stressed by society. Not new society, old society. My cousin had a mixed race baby last week and my Grandma was telling me about how she thinks it wrong. She's under the impression that a mixed child fits in neither world. Black people world or White people world. Hahahah. I told her that I think that's what life has become now a days, and the children aren't really outcasted but..I'm not a mixed race person so I don't really know. Also, a child should be loved by their family no matter what race they are or aren't so they would fit in that world! Family World. ;D Any way I think her kind of thinking is 'old society'. New society thinking might be some thing like my other grandma Mimi~ When I told her about my cousin she was excited because..it was a baby! She wasn't mad or concerned the baby wouldn't fit in any 'world'. Just happy. My cousin isn't related to Mimi and, she wanted to help all she could hahah. I love my grandmaaa.. Both of them hehe. It's a nice contrast between the two. My cousins pregnancy in general was very controversal. She's very young so mostly people were concerned about that, then they were concerned about the race and made nasty jokes, many people were mad. That baby isn't doing very well now and is expected to die. Now no one is nasty or mad at her for existing. It's not her fault she was born afterall. It's kind of funny how some thing like 'death' has to make people open their eyes and be more accepting. Actually it's not funny at all, it's very sad.
~
I made a friend on the internet perhaps..four years ago! We didn't chat much at first but through the years we learned alot of things about each other. I learned about her family situation and we kept in contact when she had to move all across the U.S so we became kind of close. She likes how I think since I'm kind of a 'can doster' and help her figure out things.. But! She moved to New York last summer so we got to hang out a few times. On my birthday she and her very lovely father came to my house to spend it with me and my family since I wanted them to meet my Mimi~ It was very fun. I never have been so excited about my birthday hahaha. We all had fun and my friend (whose name is Scone) loved Mimi. SO I felt really happy the whole day. Then after we ate and hung out with every one I went to their house. They live in a place that is about 3 hours away from me. At first the trip went okay but I noticed that Scone was acting very different. Usually she's very sweet but she had some sort of attitude problem th first couple of days and I wanted to leave. I felt like I wasted my time with her since she was being such a brat. Then I realized some thing! She was really really upset about her father having to go to Afghanistan. So I stretched my patience with her a bit. I thought, "This is hard for her. I should be nice. :)" but I HATE being nice when the other person is just OBLIVIOUS to it. It's infuriating! So finally I told her that I didn't like her being so rude to me. She didn't realize that she had been and apologized but I was still mad hahah. When she found out the definate date her dad was leaving she got a new mood and started being nice again. I'm glad that she's being nice again, because now I can help her with her grief better.~
When Scone talks about what is bothering her I try to suggest things she can do to help or I just say what's on my mind about it. She says "But.." as a response too much. I think people these days are so afraid of trying some thing and failing that they never take even the first step towards that thing. Personally, I would rather try and fail than never have had tried in the first place. But! In a way, I have always been a bit brave with these kind of things. I am learning alot from trying to help her. Things that are helping me too. I told her that when she looks at a situation she should write it all down so she can really LOOK at it. For example, she wants to become a free lancer and draw comics but she's afraid her family wont support her and she's afraid she will fail. I don't understand her loyalty to her family since she doesn't like them but I digress on this. . So! She told me she was afraid she would fail at becoming a freelancer and she wasn't really going to try but she really wanted to do it. ~_~ So I told her to pretend it wasn't her going to school and she was watching some one else do it. Because no matter what any one says humans are all very judgemental entities. We have a much easier time controlling other peoples lives than our own. (Oh come to think of it, we went to an art exibit! There were very average looking people there looking around and some woman was asking every one their opinions about what they were looking at. I laughed, because..at art exibits every one suddenly becomes a professional. It's the same with running other peoples lives, you always think you're correct in what you tell them!)
NYAH~
I'm going home on March 1st because my friend has to move to Texas, and her dad has to go over seas. I finally have some thing to look forward to in the future so I'm going to push myself to do my best! Some times when I try to do the best..I just get lazy. But since I have a goal in mind I feel more motivated to do well. For once in life, I feel that what I want to do is really what I should do in life. Many times I have a hard time imagining what my future will be like but now I'm getting glimpses of it.~!
My friend keeps listening to JJ Lin, and I am a fan of this song.~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWlDoGd_Drk It's really cute. ;_;~
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