It's so small, but why is God this way ?

You must be strong when you want to be weak.


I went to my moms house last night. I keep the door shut, because the cat had babies and the dogs are mean. I came home this morning and the door was still shut. I walked into my room and there were no kittens and no cat. I asked my dad, "Where did the kittens go?" and he casually said "Oh the cat must have brought them into the basement during the night." and I said, "Ohh right okay.." But then it hit me. How is the door closed if the cat brought the kittens downstairs in the basement during the night? So I asked him. He said "Ohhh well we opened the door for the cat because she was in there meowing and we didn't want to listen to that all night." But still.. "So the cat got out, brought all the kittens in the basement, then came back to shut the door?" Then it was like "I don't fucking know you're making me mad."

Later on I get this call from my dad, "Hey listen..." automatically I knew something happened with the kittens. "Are they all dead?" I asked. "No just one. I came home and your door was open and one was sneaking under the gate so it must have done the same thing. I'm so upset..I feel awful.. I wasn't going to tell you but I didn't want you to look for it.." "Which one was it?" "I didn't pay attention. I didn't want to look." I was at my friend Michaels house so I was strong. I had a feeling that it was my favorite one, since she was more adventurous than the rest. I just got home a few minutes ago and when I realized that I was right I felt so terrible. I'm still crying now. Why do innocent things have to die? Why is nature so cruel? The poor little girl was just doing her baby business of exploring and then outta no where some awful dog comes out and kills her. It's awful. Now her soul is gone and her body is rotting outside. I can't stomach it. The mom cat..I don't even think she realizes it. It must be nice to be an animal.

I wonder why these bad things happen.
The only things I have been praying for lately are,

"Please help my grandma.."
and
"Help the kittens be safe!"


But what happens?
The poor kitten gets mauled by a dog and my grandma is still in pain and sad.