Whoops.

Saruat bought me a Snoopy plushie when he asked me out. I hate Snoopy, but for the past few days I have been clinging to it for dear life.

I talked to Antonio today. I told him what happened and he said,
"No they weren't afraid to tell you. If they were afraid of you they wouldn't have done it at all. They respect you. That's why they didn't."

Antonio is engaged now. He told me he's moving away with his fiance soon because she's done with school. I know I don't see him very often but it makes me sad. I will miss him. He made me cry, because he said I only remember bad things. He said, "You're going to hate me, but I just don't want to see you kill yourself like this." Then he gave me a hug. It was kind of cold but it made me happy... He was really nice to me today despite some statements. He drove me around and bought me lunch and he didn't bitch at all like he usually does. He even told his fiance that she has to get over hating me because he's going to hang out with me more often, but I guess we will see about that.

He was talking about having kids with her and stuff, and he seemed so happy.
I wish I could have a future with someone too.

I tried not to see them at all today. She bought me something, maybe it was just to make me look like an ass. I don't know. I noticed she was taking up more of my characteristics too. "Why do you like this movie?! It's awful! I can't believe you like it!" Some reaction like I usually have. They say you should be flattered when people mimic you, but I never get anything for it.


I am going to snuggle with Snoopy and cry 'till I fall asleep.
I am going to miss Antonio.